2 Simple Ways to Set Boundaries

Discover two practical methods for setting clear, healthy boundaries—using Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and Somatic Experiencing. Plus: why boundaries matter, common challenges, and how to get support.

Feeling drained by endless requests or swallowed up by other people’s needs? Boundaries are the “invisible fences” that protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. Below you’ll find two powerful yet simple strategies—Nonviolent Communication and Somatic Experiencing—plus tips for making them stick.

Why Healthy Boundaries Matter

• Prevent Burnout: When you say “yes” to everything, you run on empty. Boundaries let you refill your tank.

• Improve Relationships: Clear limits reduce resentment and confusion so interactions feel respectful and mutual.

• Boost Self-Respect: Honoring your own needs reinforces the message: “My time and feelings matter.”

1. Use Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to State Your Needs

Nonviolent Communication is a four-step framework that keeps your requests clear and compassionate.
(Credit: Center for Nonviolent Communication, www.cnvc.org)

1. Observe

   • State the facts, no judgment.

   • “When I received the late-night request…”

2. Feel

   • Name your emotion.

   • “…I felt exhausted…”

3. Need

   • Identify your underlying need.

   • “…because I need downtime to recharge.”

4. Request

   • Ask specifically and positively.

   • “Would you send project updates by 4 pm instead?”

Tip: Practice with a friend or in the mirror until it flows naturally.

2. Embody Physical Boundaries with Somatic Experiencing

Somatic Experiencing helps you sense when a boundary’s been crossed—and physically reclaim your space.

1. Notice Sensations

   • Close your eyes, scan for tension or “freeze” spots.

2. Claim Your Space

   • Stand firmly, feet hip-width, hands on hips or gently “stop” in front of you.

3. Anchor in Breath

   • Inhale 4 counts (imagine expanding), exhale 6 (release tightness).

4. Integrate

   • Lower your hands when you feel grounded, then carry that calm into the moment.

Tip: Rehearse at home so that—even mentally—you can step into your boundary stance when needed.

Common Challenges & How to Overcome Them

Challenge Solution Feeling guilty for saying “no” Remind yourself: “No” is a complete sentence—and preserves your well-being. Worrying you’ll upset someone Frame “no” as a request for mutual respect (“I value our work—you respect my time”). Forgetting to enforce your limits Use calendar blocks, phone reminders, or a visible boundary chart. Boundaries triggering anxiety Pair NVC or somatic stance with 3–5 minutes of mindful breathing first.

FAQs

Q: Won’t setting boundaries push people away?
A: Healthy boundaries actually foster respect. People know where they stand and are less likely to overstep.

Q: How long before I see results?
A: You’ll often feel immediate relief in your body. Social and emotional shifts usually take a few weeks of consistent practice.

How I Can Help You Strengthen Boundaries

• Individual Therapy: Explore patterns that make saying “no” feel impossible—then practice new communication strategies in session.

• EMDR Intensives: Release deep-rooted beliefs like “I must please everyone” with targeted reprocessing.

• Somatic Therapy: Build resilience by combining boundary stances with body-based regulation techniques.

👉 Book a free 15-minute consultation
👉 Learn more about Individual Therapy
👉 Explore our EMDR Intensives

Your boundaries are a gift—to you and to everyone you interact with. Start small, be consistent, and watch your energy and relationships flourish.