trauma & attachment wound therapy with Tana noonan, lmft
When the Damage Wasn't One Event, But a Thousand Small Ones
Complex trauma and attachment therapy using EMDR and IFS | Murrieta, CA & Online Across California
MAYBE:
You Didn't Experience One Defining Traumatic Event.
There's no clear "before and after."
Instead, it was:
The feeling that love was conditional — earned through achievement, caretaking, or staying small
Learning early to read the room, manage others' emotions, or be the responsible one
A family that looked fine from the outside but taught you to hide your needs, stay hypervigilant, or never ask for help
Relationships where you absorbed blame, apologized for things that weren't your fault, or felt like you had to earn your place
You might not call it "trauma" — but your nervous system remembers.
That’s Complex Trauma.
It's not one big wound. It's the accumulation of experiences that shaped how you see yourself, navigate relationships, and move through the world. Emotional neglect, conditional love, parentification, unpredictability, or just the steady message that your feelings, needs, or pain didn't matter.
And now, as an adult, you're living with the effects:
Relationship patterns you can see but can't seem to stop — choosing unavailable people, overgiving, difficulty trusting, fear of being "too much"
Perfectionism that won't let you rest — the belief that your worth depends on what you produce or how well you perform
Hypervigilance or constant anxiety — always scanning for danger, reading tone and body language, bracing for criticism or rejection
Difficulty setting boundaries — saying yes when you mean no, absorbing others' emotions, feeling guilty for having needs
A persistent sense of not being enough — even when you've accomplished plenty
You've probably tried to understand it, talk it through, or think your way out of it. But insight hasn't been enough.
How IFS & EMDR Help Heal Complex Trauma
Complex trauma lives in your body and nervous system — not just your thoughts. That's why traditional talk therapy often stalls.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps you work with the protective patterns and younger wounded parts carrying the original pain. Instead of trying to "fix" yourself, you build a compassionate relationship with the parts of you that adapted to survive — the perfectionist, the people-pleaser, the one who shuts down emotions, the hypervigilant protector.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) processes the memories and beliefs your body is still holding — the shame, the fear, the belief that you're not safe or not enough. It helps your nervous system release what it's been carrying so you can respond to the present instead of reacting from the past.
Somatic approaches bring awareness to where trauma lives in your body — the tightness, the collapse, the holding. Healing happens when your body learns it's safe to feel, rest, and be.
Together, these approaches help you:
Understand the protective patterns without shame
Reach the younger parts of you carrying the original wounds
Process and release the burdens they've been holding
Rebuild a sense of safety, worth, and belonging from the inside
SINGLE INCIDENT TRAUMA
What If I Do Have One Clear Event?
Not all trauma is complex. Sometimes there is one defining moment — an assault, an accident, a sudden loss, a medical trauma, a single devastating experience.
I work with that too.
EMDR is particularly effective for processing single-incident trauma. If you have a specific memory that's still affecting you — causing flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance, or intense emotional reactions — we can work directly with that.
You don't need years of therapy to heal from a discrete traumatic event. Many clients experience significant relief in a matter of months, or even through an EMDR intensive format.
Whether your trauma is one event or a thousand small ones, the approach is the same: we follow what your nervous system needs to process and release what it's been holding.
BOOK FREE CONSULT
BOOK FREE CONSULT
What This Work Looks Like
ONE. Starting
Learning to notice the protective patterns — the inner critic, the people-pleaser, the part that shuts down — as strategies that once helped you survive. Building a compassionate relationship with them instead of fighting them.
TWO. Healing
Reaching the younger parts of you carrying the shame, fear, or loneliness. Witnessing what happened to them. Using EMDR to process the memories and beliefs your body has been holding. Offering what they needed, but didn't receive.
THREE. Integrating
The protective patterns start to relax because the wounded places are no longer alone with the pain. You notice yourself responding differently in relationships — setting boundaries, feeling your feelings without shutting down, trusting yourself.
Therapy with me is…
Slowing down to understand what's driving the patterns, not just managing symptoms
Building a relationship with the parts of you that adapted to survive
Processing trauma through EMDR, IFS, and somatic work — not just talking about it
Following your system's pace, not a predetermined protocol
Therapy with me is not…
Quick fixes or symptom checklists
Being told you’re wrong and how to fix yourself
Bypassing your concerns to "get to the trauma faster"
Crisis intervention or emergency Response (that needs something different).
faqs
Complex Trauma & Attachment Therapy
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If you're asking this question, there's probably something worth exploring. Complex trauma isn't about whether your childhood was "bad enough" — it's about how early experiences shaped your nervous system, beliefs about yourself, and ways of relating to others. You don't need to prove your pain to work on healing it.
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That's common with complex trauma. Emotional neglect, chronic stress, or growing up in an unpredictable environment affect you even without discrete "events." We work with what your body and nervous system remember — the patterns, sensations, and beliefs that are still active today.
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No. EMDR and IFS allow you to process trauma without needing to recount every detail out loud. You share what feels important to share. Your system leads the pace.
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There's no fixed timeline. Some people work for months; others for years. It depends on what you're working with, your system's readiness, and how deep you want to go. Progress isn't linear — but you'll notice shifts along the way.
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Yes. Healing doesn't require cutting people off (though sometimes that's the right choice). The work is about changing how the past affects you now — so you can show up in relationships from a grounded, boundaried place rather than reacting from old wounds.
A Note From Tana
Complex trauma is the specialty I return to again and again — because it's where the deepest, most lasting change happens.
If your childhood looked fine from the outside but taught you to be perfect, invisible, or endlessly responsible, I see you. If you've spent years trying to understand why you still struggle in relationships or can't shake the feeling that you're not enough, I get it.
This work isn't about proving your pain was "bad enough." It's about freeing the parts of you that have been carrying burdens that were never yours to hold.
— Tana
